In the past I’ve talked about growing your social group. Now let’s assume that you already have a social group. But maybe you’re not happy with the people you’re surrounded with now. Perhaps you’ve gone through some life changes and some of the friends you have just aren’t your kind of people anymore. Or maybe the same is true of some of your friends and they’ve become vastly different people. It happens to everyone. Whatever the case, you find yourself surrounded by negative influences, or at least people with behaviors you don’t want to surround yourself with.
So how do you deal with it?
The answer is simple but incredibly difficult to follow through with. Not many of you reading will have the willpower to follow through with this. You have to be absolutely determined and you have to want to do this.
You have to cut the negativity out of your life.
That means friends, activities, places, everything. Activities are an easy fix. You go where your friends go, so if you don’t like the places your friends go, then find different friends that go to the places that you like to go. If you don’t like to go drinking but all your friends like to party and get drunk then you’ll always end up in a place that you don’t want to be. Most people just suck it up and suffer through it because those people are their friends.
But wouldn’t you rather have friends that share your interests?
Of course you would. Cutting out the negativity in your life is the same routine as changing your eating habits. You identify the problem areas, you find a healthier alternative, and then you cut out all the bad stuff. Only in this case the bad stuff is people or places instead of ice cream or cake. That’s what makes this so hard. It would be easier just to sit back and hope that your friends or family change their habits. But you can’t.
People don’t change.
The other half is a whole different animal. If you want to find those “healthier alternatives”, aka people more attuned to your interests, then you need to follow your interests by yourself. If you bring the problem people with you then they influence the type of people you meet and you’ll start this cycle all over again. If you truly want the right fit for you then you need to do this alone. If you can’t, how are you ever going to be able to cut those problems out later on? That being said, if you have friends that are totally your kind of people then by all means bring them! This is all about finding that group of people that’s right for you.
Get out there and make an effort. You’ll find new friends, new activities, things that have the same values you do. You’ll enjoy your time more; end up at places you’d like to be because you chose this. It wasn’t just random people you happened to meet because of work or school; you chose values and a certain type of person and personalized your social circle. It’s a hard road but in the end it’s worth it. Sometimes you just need a little push to get started. Let this be your push.
Out with the bad, in with the good.