This is the dream many people have. Young girls imagine their prince charming who will sweep them off their feet. Boys imagine the girl of their dreams. As we get older we date other people looking for the one. We date all different kinds or personalities and looks to see if we can find the one that matches with us just perfectly. So why is it so hard for so many people? It’s not as complicated as you’d think.
Stop looking in the wrong places.
You will not find the one in a club or a bar. You just won’t. The mindset is all wrong. Nobody goes to a bar or club to find love they go for intimacy and attention. Or just to get drunk, whichever you prefer. You are more likely to meet someone who’s a friend of a friend or someone in one of the social groups you’re a part of. Why? There’s no expectations. It’s more comfortable and less awkward because there’s already a common connection there.
Be happy with who you are.
If you don’t like you, how do you expect someone else to like you? The first thing you have to do before you even think about looking for the one is to become the person that you’re going to be happy living as. Maybe you don’t like your weight, your self esteem, your hair color or your smile. 90% of people have things they don’t like about themselves. You don’t necessarily have to change these things, you just have to find a way to be comfortable with them.
Form your lifestyle. Do the things you like to do, talk to the people you want to talk to. Don’t be fake to try and make friends or meet someone, or lie or exaggerate to make yourself look better. If you can’t be honest about yourself, it doesn’t really matter who you meet or who you date. You know why? They’re not seeing the real you. Ever. So those relationships will never work out. Even if you manage to make it work for awhile, once you settle in the real you will inevitably come out, and the other people are going to know that that’s not the person they thought you were.
Do what you want to do.
Do you really think you’re going to find someone with similar interests doing something you don’t like to do? Maybe, but probably not. You’re more comfortable doing what you like anyway. It makes it easier for your true personality to shine through and you will definitely come off as a much happier, more lively person. If someone is going to fall for you, don’t you want it to be for something you just do naturally?
Don’t waste your time. You have an idea of the kind of person you want to be with so you’re naturally biased to choose that kind of girl or guy. But what the heck do you know about who’s right for you? Have you found them yet? Anybody who’s married will tell you the person they married is absolutely not their usual type they would go for. But they’re the person that was right for them. We think we know what’s best for us but we really don’t. So stop looking. Have you ever heard somebody say, the minute you stop looking is the minute you find someone? It’s true. When you stop looking you stop caring. You start living your life and that’s exactly what people fall in love with. If you’re always out looking or trying too hard, it comes across in your personality and your mannerisms. It’s just not an attractive quality and other people see it.
I can’t stress this enough. Be yourself. Stop looking for that someone. Build your life the way you want it to be and once you have it you will find someone who wants that life too. You won’t have to try, and you won’t have to look, it will just come naturally.