Relationships: Make Them Stronger

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If you’re in a relationship, chances are you want things to work out. You finally met that guy or girl you’ve been looking for, maybe you’re married and want to stay married or you just want to build your relationship up. What I’m going to tell you is dead simple but it’s something lots of people seem to forget.

Spend time with them.

How many times have you had errands to do and you split them up between yourselves to make them go faster? Or come home and take some personal time? Sharing activities with the person you care about is essential in relationship building. Being in the same room or house as them does not count. Do things together. What strengthens relationships is the time spent together and the memories you make together. How can you do that if you don’t spend time with them?

Find a hobby.

If you’re struggling to make time during the day then the easiest thing for you to do is to both make a commitment to an activity that you’ll do together. Maybe you both like to go bowling, or golfing. Find something you both enjoy and set time aside to do it. Lessons are a great way to do this. Set you and your significant other up for dance lessons or a sports team. It’s something you have a schedule for, and you are less inclined to miss it because you paid for it ahead of time. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s something you’ll both enjoy. You’ll probably even make some new friends doing it!

Find some alone time.

If you have kids, or you’re always spending time with friends, you can lose that one on one time that is so important in maintaining that bond. Take a walk, have a little dinner date or go see a show together. Something to get away from everything else and have that alone time together. Making it special or romantic too gets you bonus points.

If you have problems, Talk It Out.

If you get mad at them or are irritated by something they do, don’t hold it back and stew about it. If you do, you’re just going to explode later on about something little and your partner will be confused. Don’t hold it in, talk it out. If you talk it out, even if the other person doesn’t like what you have to say, they will understand that it bothers you. Personally, I don’t like to know that I’m bothering people. So I might get angry that I’m getting in trouble for something, but I’ll generally try and fix the behavior enough so that it’s not a bother any more. But more generally, if you care about someone then you don’t want to be on their bad side. So talk it out, they’ll understand. Don’t walk away from it either. If you walk away you’re just postponing the problem. And when you walk away from a problem you tend to stay away because it’s a negative experience and it is really hard to go back and address it a second time because now it’s a source of frustration. Talk it out instead of getting worked up, instead of fighting. Fighting solves no problems.

So if you want to strengthen your relationship, find the time to strengthen it. Spend time with that person and make an effort. Talk out your problems instead of stewing about it. Make new memories and genuinely enjoy being with that person. You chose them after all. So take your relationship and make it better. Strengthen it. And love them.

Love: Finding “The One”

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This is the dream many people have. Young girls imagine their prince charming who will sweep them off their feet. Boys imagine the girl of their dreams. As we get older we date other people looking for the one. We date all different kinds or personalities and looks to see if we can find the one that matches with us just perfectly. So why is it so hard for so many people? It’s not as complicated as you’d think.

Stop looking in the wrong places.

You will not find the one in a club or a bar. You just won’t. The mindset is all wrong. Nobody goes to a bar or club to find love they go for intimacy and attention. Or just to get drunk, whichever you prefer. You are more likely to meet someone who’s a friend of a friend or someone in one of the social groups you’re a part of. Why? There’s no expectations. It’s more comfortable and less awkward because there’s already a common connection there.

Be happy with who you are.

If you don’t like you, how do you expect someone else to like you? The first thing you have to do before you even think about looking for the one is to become the person that you’re going to be happy living as. Maybe you don’t like your weight, your self esteem, your hair color or your smile. 90% of people have things they don’t like about themselves. You don’t necessarily have to change these things, you just have to find a way to be comfortable with them.

Be yourself.

Form your lifestyle. Do the things you like to do, talk to the people you want to talk to. Don’t be fake to try and make friends or meet someone, or lie or exaggerate to make yourself look better. If you can’t be honest about yourself, it doesn’t really matter who you meet or who you date. You know why? They’re not seeing the real you. Ever. So those relationships will never work out. Even if you manage to make it work for awhile, once you settle in the real you will inevitably come out, and the other people are going to know that that’s not the person they thought you were.

Do what you want to do.

Do you really think you’re going to find someone with similar interests doing something you don’t like to do? Maybe, but probably not. You’re more comfortable doing what you like anyway. It makes it easier for your true personality to shine through and you will definitely come off as a much happier, more lively person. If someone is going to fall for you, don’t you want it to be for something you just do naturally?

Stop looking.

Don’t waste your time. You have an idea of the kind of person you want to be with so you’re naturally biased to choose that kind of girl or guy. But what the heck do you know about who’s right for you? Have you found them yet? Anybody who’s married will tell you the person they married is absolutely not their usual type they would go for. But they’re the person that was right for them. We think we know what’s best for us but we really don’t. So stop looking. Have you ever heard somebody say, the minute you stop looking is the minute you find someone? It’s true. When you stop looking you stop caring. You start living your life and that’s exactly what people fall in love with. If you’re always out looking or trying too hard, it comes across in your personality and your mannerisms. It’s just not an attractive quality and other people see it.

I can’t stress this enough. Be yourself. Stop looking for that someone. Build your life the way you want it to be and once you have it you will find someone who wants that life too. You won’t have to try, and you won’t have to look, it will just come naturally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arguing: Keep a Cool Head

Arguments are one of the most common things around. We argue about stupid things every day, things that don’t matter like where did my stuff go? Those stupid things often escalate into more serious things because we let them get out of control. In the end we don’t even realize what we were arguing about in the first place. This is a regular occurrence every day between friends, families and loved ones. It’s most often caused because one person loses control in an argument and explodes at the other person, maybe letting a cruel comment slip out in their anger, spiraling the argument out of proportion.

Don’t do that.

The first and often the hardest part is realizing how ridiculous what you’re arguing about really is. I had an argument about coat hangers a few days ago. I mean really? Coat hangers? Utterly ridiculous. Of all the useless things to get angry about, why do we waste our time?

At the time it seems important.

Looking back, that was a complete waste of time, and it’s so obvious in hindsight. But at the time, these small things seem like a really big deal. Why? It’s a combination of always wanting to be right, and not keeping a cool head. We’re sure our information is right so we push our issue into a discussion to try and figure it out. Once you’re in that discussion, and we’ve all been there, one comment rubs someone the wrong way and they snap. It can be a totally innocent comment, but maybe that person is having a bad day, or they’re stressed out, it really doesn’t matter.

They explode.

shutterstock_angrySomeone starts yelling. I’m sure you’ve done this before, you start yelling or raising your voice, and it suddenly seems like a very good idea to bring up that other thing that’s been nagging at you for the last few days. Naturally, the other person who is being yelled at is suddenly now being accused of something totally unrelated to the original issue. Everything blows up. Once everything starts you can’t stop it. You get emotional, you stop thinking, you throw everything on the table. You say thoughtless hurtful things in the moment because you’re not thinking and you cause damage to your relationship. Nothing but problems.

So why do it?

Now imagine instead you didn’t snap. You stayed calm. You realize in your head, wow, we’re arguing about coat hangers, how silly is that? Let’s say the issue was you’re missing some hangers. Since you’re calm, you realize that the real issue is not having enough coat hangers. So you don’t explode. Instead you do the smart thing and point this out to the other person. Then you go and buy some coat hangers because they’re insanely cheap. Boom. Problem solved.

So which option was better?

It seems pretty obvious to me. You can either scream and yell and make everything needlessly more complicated. Or you can solve the problem. In that situation, one person stayed calm, identified the problem and found a solution. Now imagine if both parties stayed calm. You bring up the issue that your hangers are missing because you’re confused. The other person asks you how many you need and you figure it out, so they suggest you go buy some. Done. No argument, no discussion, no problems.

Keep a cool head.

1As soon as you get angry or start yelling you’ve lost. Sure you might win the argument but you can lose respect, trust and sometimes much more. Don’t snap. Keep your cool. The facts are your friend here. If you ask a question and they don’t know the answer, you end it there and move on to find a solution. If you don’t believe what they tell you then you have a whole different set of issues that you need to work through.

Stay calm. Be smart.

You’ll solve more problems and save yourself a lifetime of stress. It’s hard work and it takes practice, but trust me, it’s worth it.

Are you having similar issues? Let us know in the comments below, maybe we can help!

Relationships

Arguing: Keep a Cool Head – Everyone argues. It’s stressful, it’s hurtful and it’s a complete waste of time. Save yourself some stress. Stay calm and solve the problem.

Friends: Grow Your Social Group – Introverted personality and looking to meet some people or grow your confidence? Or maybe you’re just looking to expand your social group and make more contacts. This post is for you.

Love: Finding “The One” – Are you looking for true love? Stop looking. Become the best you that you can be and love will find its way to you.

Relationship: Show That You Care – When we’ve been around the people we love for a long time, sometimes it’s easy to forget to show them how much we care. Make time in your day for the people you love.

Relationships: Make Them Stronger – If you’re in a relationship I assume you want things to work out. Sometimes we get complacent and forget the little things we should always be doing for each other. Build your relationship up. Make it stronger.

Volunteer: Make a Difference – If you have the ability to help other people, why don’t you? Even if you don’t like volunteer work, there are other things for you to enjoy with the people that you will meet. Find out what.

Relationship: Show That You Care

relationship-quotes-for-relationship-quotes-collections-2015-4One of the most important things in life are our relationships. People that are important to us like our loved ones, friends and pets. They’re things that are always there, and sometimes, often in fact, we take them for granted. I too am guilty of this.

So I got to thinking yesterday. What if all of a sudden, someone important in my life just wasn’t in it anymore? Think about that for a second. Pick someone in your life that’s important to you. Got someone? Now imagine that person or animal just vanished tomorrow. Would you be happy with the way you’ve been acting towards them lately? Or would you regret the way your relationship left off when they disappeared? If you’re like me, you’re probably in that second category.

The sad truth is we take people for granted.

We don’t show them the love or care that we really feel for them. Why? It’s because they’re always there. We can always do that tomorrow.

That’s the wrong way to look at it.

All those people we’re close with, they’re important to us. So show them! Call your mom and dad, because what if you couldn’t? Kiss your lover because what if you couldn’t? Take your kids out for ice cream because what if you couldn’t!

We get so caught up in our everyday lives that we don’t always make the time for the people we care about. When you think about it that’s just so heart wrenchingly unacceptable. Treat those people like the important people they are in your life. You’re never too busy. If you tell yourself you just don’t have time, you are lying to yourself.

 Make. Time. Because what if you couldn’t?

So how do you make time? You have to want to. You’re leaving for work in the morning, you say goodbye to your significant other. Stop! Instead of walking out that door, walk over and give them a kiss before you go. It takes a few seconds, but trust me when I say it makes a difference.

You just moved away from home, you’re living on your own for the first time. Going to parties, living it up, drinking, having a good time. Call your family once in awhile. It might take a few minutes out of one day. You might not care because you’re having the time of your life, but they do.

It’s the little things that make the biggest difference.

Showing someone you care doesn’t take time. It takes effort. You have to put in that effort. You have to want to. So take that extra few seconds every day, do that little something extra. You’ll thank me for it.